36 posts tagged “writing”

What? How is it possible that I can declare hiatus on a project that I frequently ignore simply because I don't feel like working on it?

Well, I'll tell you!

See, the reason why I'm declaring this an official hiatus from this blog is because my online writing is currently going into my other project, which is a writer's blog for my university composition class. The reason why I'm telling you this is because I'm posting a lot on that site (I get graded for it, which proves that I can commit to just about anything given the proper incentive!).

If you'd like to check it out just to get a taste of more of my random, vague, incoherent thoughts, head over to Matt's Exciting Placeholder Blog Title! and have a read. I can't promise that what you'll find will be any different than what I post here, or even any good, for that matter, but at least it's getting updated five days a week.

-Matt

I asked how can you ever be sure
that what you write is really
any good at all and he said you can’t

you can’t you can never be sure
you die without knowing
whether anything you wrote was any good
if you have to be sure don’t write

~W. S. Merwin

So, for some reason, I've been thinking a lot about a story idea that I just can't seem to get out of my head. It's basically about a fallen angel who happens to be possessing a private investigator. I'm not sure if they're partners, or if the angel's the one in charge.

Hmm. That actually sounds sort of cool. Maybe I'll let this one develop a bit?

Woke up early to write a paper, which was a very weird experience for me. Not sure if I like it better than the classic "stay up until 4 am" approach.

Anyway, I have two links for you. First, this is why I can't go to Australia. Ever.

Second, an announcement about a new movie that makes me happy. Here's hoping it's handled well.

So, that's it for today. So you in a month, probably.

I happened upon this article at Digg while trying to decide what to spend my hour of free time working on. I highly suggest you break from whatever it is you are doing (which I guess would be reading my blog) and read it, as it describes a very interesting problem I've been dealing with lately in regards to my inability to focus on tasks as much as I feel I should be able to do.

I think this is true of all creative people, and probably anybody who has any sort of hobby or passion that calls for attention and focus: there is a moment where your mind makes a leap, and suddenly, you're into the work itself, experiencing life in a flow of thought and direction, a state where time has no meaning until something, perhaps a cell phone or a distant car door slamming shut finally breaks your trance, and you look down at the clock only to realize that it is now two hours later.

I live for those moments, or at least I used to, and I really think that it's time I worked towards experiencing them once again. Not only is it productive (I get a lot done when I'm not glancing at my email or at Twitter), it's also incredibly cathartic.

It did not occur to me until just now that I just spent more than half of Easter Sunday writing my paper on Paradise Lost, in which I denounce God as an imperialistic, tyrannical, self-appointed ruler whose actions and behavior cannot be justified.

Wow.

(Oh, I feel I should note, I was arguing this position not because I hate God, but because that's just what the paper was about.)

Anyway, just wanted to share that amusing little bit of information. The paper itself went well, though, in case you were wondering. I made sure to edit it thoroughly this time around, since my Comus paper ended up dropping an entire letter grade because my professor decided that my lack of proofreading indicated academic arrogance on my part. Interestingly, I do not think that he was wrong.

I have a grip of projects churning around in my mind right now. For those unfamiliar with that particular terminology, that means I have a bunch.

It's always really, really exciting when you have ideas that are so interesting and exciting that you literally cannot think about anything else until you write them down. Many people do not really have a grasp of how hard it can be to write at times, even though it's those difficult times that distinguish you as a writer; the very act of working through the dry spells, the despair, the anxiety are what make you a member of this strange, neurotic little club.

So when you do get an idea that's fun and fresh and will literally keep you up at night with thoughts of writing it all down, well, damn. That's exciting. It won't last long enough for me to get used to it, but it's fun while it lasts.

-Matt

I'm done trying to start new projects only to have them die before I get them off the ground. I'm tired of telling myself I'm not going to write, because there isn't enough time to get started, because the idea dies long before I develop it or any of the other bullshit that I keep telling myself over the past few years. I keep deluding myself into thinking that I just need to focus on the next story, that next cool idea that will spark my brain and then I'll be off. But all I have to show for it is a folder full of half-baked ideas, notes and notebooks and a very real lack of anything to show for my time and effort.

So, I'm just going to finish what I began. I'm going to go back to the beginning, to my very first story and finish the second novel. Yeah, that's right, I -did- write a novel. Maybe it's good. I have no idea. I was much younger, much more callow and full of myself when I started. But at least I fucking did something back then, you know? My 16 year old self didn't sit around and debate and think and try to come up with reasons why the writing wasn't happening. He was just as addicted to video games. He worked just as many hours. And he still wrote. God, if that younger person could see himself now, he'd be irritated.

No more screwing around. I'm going to write and I'm going to finish this work I began years ago, and then I'll move onto the next work. Because I'm sick of not having anything to say when people ask "oh, what are you writing? How's the writing going?"

And then maybe I'll work on that second promise, the one that I feel in my bones; that I cannot allow this work to accumulate. I can't let it sit and languish in the folder on my computer, unseen, undigested. I don't care if anybody thinks it's good. I'm not craving validation or approval. It just needs to be read. Consumed. Released into the world.

Time to get to work. Although it occurs to me that I'll have to change the title since a book called "Twilight's Shadow" probably will not do nearly as well now as it would have five years ago. Hmm. Or maybe it would. Who knows. I'll figure that out later.

Also, incidentally,  if you've never heard of Pandora I would recommend it. I particularly enjoy how it tries to match up music based on my tastes, which has led to a few nice gems that I can then seek out via my Zune Marketplace and add them to my collection. It always pleases me when my digital content achieves a sort of synergy with itself.

So, the NaNoWriMo project was officially a bust. I got off to a great start, had a solid week of writing roughly 1000 words a day and I was well on my merry way... and then I just sort of hit a wall. I skipped a few days because of the convention, and then I just never picked up the project again and the enthusiasm for it died. I cannot help but blame part of this on the fact that Wrath of the Lich King had to come out this month, which completely sucked me under for a while (though I hope now that I've hit 80 with my first character, the overwhelming desire to log on and level every single free moment will taper off some.)

I'm really not sure why somebody decided to have this writing month in November. It seems inconvenient. All of the year's best games are usually released in November, college students are finishing up the last month of the semester and finals and essays are usually raining down on us in droves. And then there's all the holiday stuff that normal people have to deal with. Why not have the national novel month in, say, June? Nothing happens in June.

I'm not sure whether to post what I did manage to write; it was a pretty sizeable chunk of story (I think around 10,000 words or so) but it is -extremely- messy, and because I was trying to write quickly, without stopping, there's a great chance that the story totally sucks. Maybe if somebody really tries to convince me, I'll unearth it. We'll see.

So, at this point, I'm trying to put together some short stories to send off to that publisher I met at the con, since his deadline is coming up and I don't want to blow this opportunity. I've got two ideas for horror stories so far... here's hoping I can find the juice to polish them off.

As you may have seen from my twittering (I refuse to admit that "tweet" is the verb for such actions), my work on my NaNoWriMo project is now seriously behind, with a deficit of five days and growing. At this point, I'm debating whether to just see exactly how far I can get, considering how good it felt when I was sticking to a strict schedule, or pull out now before I get too stressed with a project that is meant to be solely beneficial. After all, it's not as if I don't have other things on my plate; the essay on Into the Wild is due tomorrow, which I was hoping to have finished yesterday during my day off, except for the irritating fact that the more time I have, the less motivated I am to do work. And then there's the short story that I need to write and submit to the rep I met at TusCon, and there's the work on trying to get December published, and...

Busy, busy, busy.

We'll see how it goes. The essay is my first priority, since the grade matters and the thing is due tomorrow. After stalling on it all night, I was able to make some decent progress on it today, though I'm concerned that it isn't as tight as it could be due to how much I loved the subject matter, which, as you may note, is a rarity; usually, I am universally negative about the texts I have to write about, such as the whole Faulkner thing. Not sure what to make of that.

Well, off to work, and then finishing that essay, and THEN meeting up with The Brauer to prepare for Wrath of the Lich King night, which is completely inconvenient for me. Seriously, Wrath, couldn't you come out next week? I have a paper due tomorrow and you're making it impossible to concentrate.

Thank God I cannot buy it until midnight at the very earliest, grr.