5 posts tagged “post”

I'm just curious, for those of you who stop by to check this blog every once in a while to see whether or not I've written anything. Have you actually checked the link to go over to my other site?

The reason I ask is because I'm debating whether or not I should post my entries for my composition blog up here as well, for people to read, or if it would be redundant to have this material in two places at once.

Let me know what you think, if, indeed, there's anybody still out there.

Just got back from a backpacking trip, pictures are posted on my Facebook. I might migrate them over here later, if I feel up to it. At the moment, I just want to ice my knee, lie down and pass out watching a movie.

Sounds good. I'm going to go do that.

I would very much like to know why my public library's network does not want to play nicely with the Vox interface. I would be nice to get back into the regular habit of writing blog entries, except for that fact that you need access to a blog to do it.

I also would like to know, although I realize that nobody will be able to tell me, why my mind is so fractured and broken as of late that even the most rudimentary efforts of sustained concentration seem beyond my ability. I've been trying to write more, really, I have. And yet, it seems like everything falls apart after the first attempt; the great idea I had doesn't feel nearly as worthwhile the moment I try to write the first line. Why is that? Am I afraid?

Why is my folder littered with half-finished stories and jotted notes, without anything complete to show for my efforts? Why can't I finish what I start?

Hah. I guess if I knew the answer to that, I'd know the answer to life itself. And can you imagine how boring that would be?

So, this will be my first post for 2008, and as such, I thought it might be fitting to look back through my blog posts for the year 2007, in order to relive the scant few experiences I decided to actually take the time to record. Anybody that's taken a glance at a few recent posts should be pretty aware of one overall theme: 2007 pretty much sucked for me. It started off okay, got good for a while, and then went over the edge into this terrifying free fall of despair, disaster and depression.

The nice thing is that that was last year and now we're in this year. A brand new year, with brand new possibilities and opportunities. I have an awesome new job. I'm alive. I met a cute girl that I have a little bit of a crush on. It's been so deliciously refreshing to have that butterfly feeling again; to wonder "should I ask her out? Is she interested in me?" The accompanying nervousness itself is an enjoyable experience that I am savoring, in and of itself.

I have a few resolutions for the new year, silly things like get a nice, new car to replace my dying battle-wagon of a LeBaron, as well as move out after my family is financially stable again (we're still recovering from the situation of the house fire.) My most important resolution, however, is that I absolutely cannot, will not allow the darkness and despair of 2007 follow me into 2008. While there will almost certainly be new trials and tribulations ahead of me, I won't allow anything of the past to hold me back. That's all behind me, not even worth looking over my shoulder now.

I spent a little bit of time browsing my archives, looking for one post I could title my favorite of the year. Two in particular really stood out for me, my birthday post that I wrote a few weeks ago (easy enough to find if you didn't read it and want to), and this post here. That post, I believe, is my favorite because I remember that fleeting moment of serenity, and I cannot help but marvel at the oddly prophetic quality the post now possesses in retrospect. I had no idea of the plunge ahead of me at that point, when I sat down to write that post, which makes me so very, very glad I chose to capture that precious moment and preserve it for the future, when I'd need it. It's something from 2007 that I'll be taking with me into 2008.

Along with all of you, of course. You've all been wonderful, but I told you that in a different post, and this wouldn't be "After Dark" if all I did was tell you how great you are, even though you are, in fact, great. If that's all I did, this blog would have to be "Matt's Happy Time Super Fun Mega Hugs Hour" or something, and that title sounds like it'd land me in an 8 x 10 cell for inappropriate conduct.

-Draxle

I know I haven't been saying much of anything lately. I have a very simple reason: to be honest, it's hard to find the motivation to write when you're depressed and emotionally dead inside.

Let this be a lesson to you: escapism can only mask the symptoms for so long. It cannot provide a cure. I wish that weren't true.

-Draxle