8 posts tagged “happy”

I will admit, this is totally cheesy, but it's the truth. There's a Chinese fortune that I got out of a cookie once that I keep in my wallet. It says, very simply, "Killing time murders opportunity." Which is really more advice than fortune telling.

I just want to take this moment and reflect how one event, no matter how irritating it might be, can lead directly to something wonderful and exciting, if you have but the willingness to follow the path and the courage to act before you second guess yourself to inaction.

I'm exhausted (though not from the convention) so my ability to be coherent, funny or even interesting is likely seriously diminished, but I felt it was necessary to record for all time the events of the past weekend. Also, I'm writing this from memory, and I'm horrible with names, so I'm sure I misspelled some names here (I'll attempt to correct this when I get back home).

In no particular order: The con was wonderful. We ended up sitting at the same table as the guest of honor, Diana Gabaldon, who you might be familiar with. Note: my requirement for a person to be considered famous is whether or not he or she has a wikipedia page. If you do, congratulations! I also had the pleasure of meeting (through the wonderful networking skills of my mom, who came with me as a guest) met a number of excellent authors, including Weston Ochse, Yvonne Navarro and Dennis McKiernan, all of whom were absolutely wonderful and awesome people. We ended up talking late into the night about fiction, about my story, about writing in general. I should have had a notebook and tape recorder out; there was so much information and advice, so freely given, that I was all but overwhelmed.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention Liz Danforth as well, the wonderful person who organized the short story contest and also ended up pulling the strings that led to an unscheduled reading of my short story the next day, but more on that in a bit.

So, the short story contest: second place! It was a great honor and I was very gratified to have made the effort to come out to the convention, although I have to admit, the real prize was the way these established, published authors who reviewed my work took the time to discuss my story and ask what my plans were; everybody who'd read it urged me to look into publication. The short story I submitted, by the way, was a rewritten version of December, an early draft of which appears on this blog if you're interested.

The short story reading was a real surprise. I'd been attending the panels at the con, after the short story contest was over, and I learned a lot of great tips about the world of small press publishing and just what the sci-fi/fantasy world looks like at the moment. Reading my story aloud was an interesting experience, although I had a tiny audience of two people, I'm told that this is actually pretty common unless you happen to be, say, the guest of honor. But! It was still a great experience, especially because one of the listeners was a rep from a small horror fiction press, who said he was quite interested in my work and asked me to have a submission to him in six weeks. I've already started working on some ideas for my submission!

So, all in all, it was a wonderful, amazing experience. The people I met, the advice I was given, and the interest my work received, as well as the words of encouragement, the support and the warmth... it was unlike anything I've ever experienced. I don't know if I've ever been this pumped about the direction I want to take my life, the goals I've set for myself. Weston and Yvonne... your words really inspired me this weekend. I am exceedingly grateful for all that you guys did for me this weekend and I'm extremely eager for the day when I'll be able to show you that your advice and wisdom did not fall on deaf ears.

Also, the photos from the wine and cheese party are uploaded to my computer. And they are very, very hilarious. Nobody else will be able to understand until you've watched a man attempt to eat a candy skull made entirely of sugar, a skull equal in size and density to the man's own head.

Good times.

You saw this coming. I know you did, because I do it all the time. A month goes by, no updates, then I remember "oh shits, I have a blog that maybe six people check every so often for whatever unfathomable reason." Then I run over here, post in a hurry to remind everybody including myself that one of these days, I'm really going to make an effort to keep a regular update schedule. I'll post some stories or poems, or make observations. I'll have content.

I'm not going to make that promise, because I don't really feel that I need to do so at this point.

You all know me, or if you don't, you have ways to get in touch with me. You don't need this blog to remind you that I continue to draw breath. So I'm going to stop treating it like it's some virtual heart monitor.

If I don't post... that probably means any of three things, possibly a combination of them.

1: I'm doing okay. Generally, I post more when I'm upset about something. Less posts usually means I have less bothering me, since I usually express those emotions more than "gosh, today was just great."

2: I'm playing a video game/reading a book that has total command of my attention, and when I have a moment of free time, I'd rather be doing that than writing about how my day was. Selfish, I know.

3: I'm just really freaking busy. I've managed to fight off a lot of the insomnia I used to have, so that instead of sleeping 2-3 hours a night, I'm usually asleep by about 1 AM, give or take. This means I have less time, since I'm actually focused on class, work and a little bit of a social life.

So, there you go. I'm not feeling particularly chatty at the moment, even though I have some things I could talk about. But hey, if there's something in particular that you wish to talk about, email me. Call me. We can talk. I'm not a hermit and I'd probably enjoy talking to you. This blog really isn't for that; it's for me to express whatever I feel like expressing at the moment, and maybe getting a comment out of it.

Although, come to think of it... I do have a story I'd like to post. I still need to revise it (particularly the ending) but I realized a few weeks ago that very, very few people ever read anything that I've ever done. My World of WarCraft fanfiction has received more readership than the rest of my short stories and novels put together. And while that's not at all bad, because I'm really proud of most of that fan fiction, it does make me realize that I like to have people read my stuff and should probably work on sharing it more often.

I'm going to go browse Fark now, or something.

-Draxle

Post Script: Another song lyric for the title. I'm willing to bet you absolutely cannot guess where it is from, and if you can, that makes you as much of a nerd as I am. There's your hint. Go for it.

I just typed up a 5600 word back-story for my new D&D character.

I feel so fucking alive right now. This is the most writing I've done in months, and even though it's all just character fluff, it felt so very, very awesome to do that much writing again, to just sort of lose myself in the story and let it all flow out in one great, big torrent. Those are the moments that I really live for, that make being a creative writer worth it... when four hours fly by in a rush without me even noticing because I'm so caught up in what I'm working on.

God, it feels great.

I'd post what I wrote, but I know that some of my gaming friends read this blog and I don't want to spoil my surprises for them.

-Draxle

Just a couple of things because, after looking at my non-specific little hit counter (I never bother to reset it, so who knows how accurate the damn thing really is) but it seems that there are, in fact, people out there aside from me who read my little blog, so, hey, this one's for you guys. Just writing to let you know that I'm still alive, and in fact, doing a pretty good job of living up to my promises that I made over my birthday and New Year's. So, that's pretty awesome. I'm not sure why I felt the need to sort of retreat from posting for a while, but it just seemed that I needed to curl up inside my own head and just regrow my emotional tendrils or limbs or... you know what, fuck it, the analogy got away from me. Sufficient to say, vacation time is over and I'm back in the business of writing things that only I, and few of my closest friends will probably ever care about. But hey, that's what this whole Vox thing is all about.

I'd write more tonight, since I'm feeling particularly writerly, but I really do have some minor homework to do. It's only the second week of class (and not even the first full week) but already I'm procrastinating on junk and wishing I could do something else, like read or play video games or whatever. I did, however, find time (or create the time by ignoring responsibilities) to watch Donnie Darko, which is now officially one of my most favoritest movies of all time. I'm hesitant to recommend it, though, because I'm the guy that includes Requiem for a Dream and The Fountain in my list of favorite movies, so consider yourself warned. If you happen to like movies in which reality itself is a questionable, unstable concept, movies that will leave you with that wonderful "WTF, I think I got smarter from watching this" feeling, then, by all means, jump in and thank me after you're up late at night researching the meaning of the film. Unless said research causes your real life and/or academic work to suffer, in which case, well, ah, sorry about that.

So yeah, I should probably get to that studying now, because unlike movies, even extremely fantastic ones, I know for a fact that studying will make me smarter. Or so I hope.

-Draxle

I've been playing this game like crazy, and even though I finished it tonight, I think tomorrow I'm going to start up a new character just so I can experience the exact same progression path again... I'll do something different my third time through. I haven't been this hooked on a single player game since the original Knights of the Old Republic... there's something about Bioware games that just has this effect on me, though I'm not sure exactly what it is.

Actually, I know exactly what it is. Aside from the immersive narrative, it's the romance subplots. This is game in which not only did I get to hook up with a hot blue alien chick, but I then consummated our virtual romance in high definition with a soothing soundtrack in the background. Good times.

On a slightly more serious note, I'm still doing very well emotionally. Being able to really lose myself in a single-player game has had a marvelously potent healing effect on my psyche, and I say this with complete and absolute honesty. There's just something about a great story that makes me feel refreshed and rejuvenated when I complete it, secure in the knowledge that the characters I've grown to care about are now part of me through my memories. I don't know why, exactly, but there is something comforting in that. But yes, to anybody who's been worried about me... I am doing very well. I'm learning how to be happy again and that's a really, really good feeling.

-Draxle

Finally... after spending my entire weekend slaving over a hot keyboard, my projects are done. I can now take my scant few hours of sleep... before I have to wake up and jump headfirst into the next week's worth of work. But for now, at least I can sleep with the comfort and satisfaction of knowing that everything is completed. That's a good feeling, in and of itself

-Draxle

The cockatiel flew away.

-Draxle