Xanamir’s Neighborhood

Got the letter with Mom's mammogram results today -- completely normal, no signs of cancer. I burst into tears of PURE joy. Thank you, God!

You know it's been a bad year when I'm crawling into bed at 8am and think the night was productive because I wrote a freaking poem.

I believe in love, & I'm a dreamer. But I'm not alone, there are more of us than you suspect & we've got bombs. Truth and beauty bombs. -ASW

The last 5 months have felt like I have been flying in a great experience with some one I truly fell for... well the wheels had to come down. This all happened in the span of 3 days a sudden shock to me that hurt too, but all I can do is not back down and learn from everything lucky I started hearing this song about 2 or 3 weeks ago  it is called "Wheels" by one of my favorite bands Foo Fighters... well here it is

I remember that I was told by my dad that when I truly open my mind up and truly learn that I might find something new... Well I hate it when he is right... stupid age and knowledge and other information that I don't have yet. "Shakes fist"

It is a shame that now in my final year of under graduate classes that I find this true love for learning and fully divulging myself into the studies. Fully diving into the subject material giving more of in depth view of my life and how everything is connected in one thing to another. For example in high school we all took classes in which we asked ourselves or others near us "why do we need to take this class. I won't need this for my future job." The fact is every part of learning connects us to another part we just as humans don't believe this because of our agreement reality or our beliefs. I always thought that even into high school until last semester when I decided to be fully open minded. Now, in every class I see connections. Why do you think our elders always tell us that no matter what we learn every day. I think we need to take that statement even further with this: "We learn every day, but it is up to us to see the connection and truly understand the information to us and then use it"

Like I said in the paragraph above it is shame that I find this love now due to the fact studying is not something that I have to do, but something I look forward to, something to enjoy.

I leave this entry with a link to an essay that I read for one of my classes, Mother Earth Ship, you may enjoy it you may not but I found the items written eye opening.

Justin 

Well I had the second part of four to get a job with Tucson Police Department, and wow I have found 4 years out of High School KILLS you if you don't work out enough or keep in shape. So the day started off with me waking up at 0530 and getting food waking up and driving to Wetmore Rd. to the testing site by 0700. I get there sign in and go to my group and right off the dot straight to running, and just a nice calm run but a nice run your ass off as fast as you can down 300 Meters. OMG that was a killer but still ran it in 45 sec not to shabby. But then I threw up all the water that I stored up the night before while I was heanding over to the next test which was a lovely run around a driving coarse 3 times to get a total of 1.5 miles. Ohh did I mention no brake during this period. So I ran that torture in the 101 degree weather with 100 Humidity in 12 min slow but hey I did 59 secs faster then the top 40 % so ha. then right after that I had to go and do Push ups and Sit up. Which again were killers and very very tiring. then after that I had to do a written test past that and a stress test that was very very intresting. Well I think I am going to sit back and watch some tv while lookig at a 29 page back ground check ohhh ya.

It's no secret that I love TVTropes.org. I will out myself as a hopeless academic, and I love to scrutinize things like media. Playing through Half-life made me think about Videogame Setpieces and their applicability to tabletop games.

A setpiece is an impressive scripted event that happens only once and has a gameplay impact. For example, you are driving a boat down a river and a factory smokestack is blasted with a missile and falls directly into your path. You then have to try to navigate past this falling chimney, and onwards to safety. Chimneys don't fall down regularly, and this isn't something happening off in the distance. They make the game world seem more real by making it seem like anything can happen. A lot of good setpieces will make something the players think is safe seems more dangerous. A great example of this is in the original half-life when you are shimmying down a vent, like you always do, and suddenly the vent comes under fire from surrounding military troops and falls to the ground.

In video games, setpieces are a hell of a lot of work. You have to design it, program it, playtest it, bugfix it, and then after all that work, the player will only see it once. The models and animations for a single setpiece may take as long as the design of a recurring enemy that the player will interract with much more often. However, in roleplaying games, you don't have to program a setpiece. Moreover, it's hard to overuse them, because each one is unique. If you use something repeatedly, it stops being a setpiece and becomes a recurring device.

First off, you may already be using setpieces in your game. Most traps are set pieces, and a lot of skill challenges are based around setpieces. Think about what makes those elements work in your campaign when designing setpieces.

Second, a good setpiece will entice or force your players to interact with it. In combat situations, have enemies and players both be able to use most setpieces to their advantage. If there is a boulder propped at the top of a ramp, let the players manuever the enemies in front of it using thei character's abilities, and unleash hell. In fourth edition, a setpiece's effect should be similar to the players' encounter or daily abilities. This ensures that the player doesn't feel like they "Wasted" their turn using it. Setpieces are cool, and players enjoy using them. Be honest with yourself, would you rather throw a fireball at a group of enemies (like you always do) or crush them with a boulder? For out of combat situations, setpieces should contain story or affect navigation, as approrpriate. If the players are trying to navigate a maze like cave, having the tunnel collapse below them forces them into a situation where they are lost again. If the characters are in the city, having an angry mob chasing after someone shouting something about the specific plot coupon they are looking for makes the players want to get involved.

One last thing to keep in mind. You should try not to punish your players for interacting with your setpieces. You want them to occur, and a lot of times you will make them unavoidable. It can seem rather cheap if you force players to use their precious resources to deal with the aftermath of something they couldn't help. Particularly in examples like the cave collapse where you toying with the character's navigational progress, give them something of value, like a tool for completing a future puzzle or a some free loot. "The hardwood floor you are standing on creaks under your weight. *roll to hit the character's reflex* Before you have a chance, to move however, the floor collapses and you take, *roll* 7 damage." This would be annoying, but then it would be totally made better by, "As the dust settles, and your light begins to cover the room you realize that you've fallen into a hidden chamber. Valuable artifacts cover the walls, and a pedestal stands at the end of the room, holding a pair of silvered gauntlets." For harmful setpieces, always allow the player to either mitigate the damage of it through intelligent play, or turn even it into an advantage. Combat setpieces should be budgetted into the overall Exp.

So I was woken last night at about 1 o clock when I had the sudden thought of the most random poem that made really good sense. Anyways here it is...

Training Wheels

You began to ride that bike with four wheels
You fly down the street so fast
You balance everything so well
You then look up at your dad
You ask can you take the training wheels off

You are 16 now
You can drive on your own
You asked your dad for the keys to drive
You dad goes and gets his jacket and comes back
You ask him if he could take the training wheels off

You are 18
You are going to college
You are living on your own
Your mom looks at you as you get out of the car
You look back and say you can take the training wheels off

You are out of college a young adult
You have your own place
You have a job
You have bills pilling up
You look around and tell yourself no more training wheels

You are standing at the end of the aisle
You see your future walking towards you smiling
You say those two words
You look into her eyes
You think to yourself no more training wheels

You are standing on the sidewalk seeing the bike with four wheels
You watch with fear as your son flies
You see him holding his balance so well
You see him smile as he look up to his dad
You then hear those words, dad can you take the training wheels off

Like I said earlier in this post random poem but I think it makes good sense.

Well I am typing this up before I go into complete nerdeness and play DnD for a whole Friday night WOOT!!! Anyways, I have finally reached a high point in my College life and that is that I might actully pull off a 4.0 GPA. I could not believe it when I saw how close my grades are, makeing me think ya I am going to go all the way. I am not going to fail now. Even if I dont pull of a 4.0 I am sure that I well get the 3.5 which is still amazing for me since I use to be a solid 2.0. It feels good to finally do somthing right. Now to keep this attutude and contune foward with the progression and hopefully next may I will be graduating... Hopefully.

The title this writing is a new theme for my life and how it seems to go. I work so hard to get moving  and start feeling better, but with all the work a couple mistakes sends me back. Not all the way back, but to a stage that I have been at. I seems like something that I can easily avoid. The fact is I done realize that I have taken that step back tell its to late. When I do realize what happened I feel like that step back also added a little obstacle in order to just get that one step back. The only thing is I can't allow this to take my attitude down and know this. It's just the fact that it happened stings a little. The one nice thing about this is that I have a new quote yet again (I think I am going to right a book on just quotes). The quote runs the lines of a famous one but I believe I gave it just a tad more umph.

"Its not the fact the we fell down and that we need to learn from it, its the fact the we realized we fell down and we need to find the lesson to the fall and learn how to walk again with that extra lesson."

and just for the hell of it my favorite quote

"Never Regret, Never Forget, Always Move Froward"